Side notes:

For the archive I had to re-explore my notes on my own failure. It was a bit painful to read it, as I felt the feeling of failure again. I felt angry, as I can't undo my past decisions. I wanted to burn the papers, but I still need them. So I threw the papers instead. It felt good.

The feeling of failure...

Angry, sad, regretful, helpless

Standing in my way / holding back

Competitive & perfectionism

Escapism

Chaotic/ ADHD/ easily distracted/ no structure/ procrastination/ lagging behind